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It's been a long time old friend.

It's been a long time LJ. I suppose though, that if I can become somewhat aware of the long-distance far-thought friends of my past through facbeook, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to open up my heart to old LJ.

I don't know what you know, LJ. In my mind you're just a hop-skip-and-jump away from a google search that could find all the more valuable information about my life. She got married, you would see. She's in love, you would notice. She seems happy and I read somewhere she found a career she actually likes.

Things certainly didn't go as I had planned, LJ. I had big plans, I had big dreams, I had imagined a version of myself far removed from the Kansas girl I had come into this world as. Evenso, the universe has a way of working those things out, of settling the score and balancing the hearts of angsty teenagers.

When I step outside my backyard I look out onto a lake and if I close my eyes and weed through the sounds of frogs and crickets I can hear a rooster crowing in the morning. I live across from a farm. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, early in the morning as the sun begins to rise. The humidity smacking you in the face like a glob of natural hairspray. There is much beauty in the world. I am building these walls, creating a world not too far off from the one my father wished for me. He would be happy here, happy to know I have settled into something. That I've found a place to sink my feet into, that gives balance to my heart's desire for city and country. Busy and slow. Challenging and gentle.
Not far off from this view my love and I teach at two sequential public schools, low-income schools where the students seem to face battles far beyond their comprehension. Far too big and powerful for their jaded hearts to understand. We teach because the universe brought us to these classrooms, and we were just creative souls who had developed a pattern of following their hearts. That's the thing about following your heart, it takes you to the beauty to build you up each morning, to the trenches to fight with passion and to your companion to hide from the storms. This view, it is my santuary and my drum-roll for a new day.


Jan. 14th, 2011

Seven years of LJ.

One art project.

No due dates.

One line from every entry.

I'm completely terrified to find out how far I've come.

Another one down, a step towards greatness.

I have finished another class, and most of a second summer course. There is this process that follows, the downfall from the marathon that is graduate courses. Pushing, pulling and molding you into the best you can be. My mind gets pushed to the edge and pulled back again. And then its all over. And you have to have some sort of reward waiting for you at the end of the road. BEACH VACATION! Or, even just a good mani * pedi. But another part of the process is this... It looks simple enough, putting notes away and preparing for round 2, but its so much more than that. It's like building bricks to make the tower that will get me where I want to be.

This is what it looks like,

My giant pink box holds all the notes and papers from ever class I take. This is almost an absolute must as there is not only a cummulative exam to graduate but 2 different portfolios requiring massive amounts of assignments completed through out the entire graduate program. Its intense. I have an external hard drive with the digital versions of all of this as well.

EDF 6237 COMPLETE! The grades were posted yesterday, I got an A, The class was basically Education Psychology. My teacher was fantastic, the class taught me so much in 6 weeks and never once made me want to kill myself. I even got through the whole thing without buying the $150 textbook because the teacher was nice enough to have it on reserve in the CMC library.

There is so much closure that comes with putting these folders away. To physically hold the work finished, it feels good, ya know?

On to the next class. EDF 6727, Education Law and Ethics. A friend from my previous class is in this one as well, Jenna. She's pretty cool. She's my age and really quick. We're in a group with two boys, which is impressive considering that there aren't many guys in education. The teacher has a very dry sense of humor, but I appreciate the way he presents the class and the information. Theres even a STRAIGHT BOY in our group, who I find cute -- mostly because he references books in conversation. YAY NERDS.

In the background you can see a bright blue bag, that holds the magnificent ESOL Notebook. There has never been more drama surrounding a notebook in all your life. It consists of 25 standards, the new in-coming class have to do 50 standards, if all goes according to plan I will walk out ESOL endorsed, which is kind of a big deal.

So, other than that those two classes, I am also taking EEX 5051, which is basically Intro to exceptional education. You would think I'd love this class, and honestly, the people in the class and topics discussed are fantastic. I've even made a new friend, Nancy. She's older, actually has a daughter in college. She's hillarious and without her I don't know that I would have made it through the class. The class was intense, I still hvae to take the final and I can't seem to make myself focus on studying for it. The entire class was exhausting, I finished early because I knew if I didn't I would just drop dead and give up completely. The work was way to much, way to tedious and the professor was practically non-existent the entire course.

There will be dinner @ Season 52 waiting when I complete that bastard-of-a-course. I hate it when people fuck up information you're already interested in without the class. It's like, you have such high hopes, ya know?

Well, that about sums it up. I have a few more things to post but I'll spread it out. Don't want to bombard my HUNDREDS of readers with suddenly updating. :)


So, today I had one of those moments when you seee actual progress. In the flesh.

So I thought I would share with you.

BeforeCollapse )

And this is me today.Collapse )

God damn, well I can see it now even more. But today, looking in the mirror I actually felt the change. I felt skinner and HEALTHIER.

I dunno, I just sorta had this moment today when I realized how much I love my life right now. Every ounce of it, and how beautiful it's all coming together. I feel complete, whole and happy. A far cry from 10 months ago, a long stretch from the depressed self I was. Alot can happen in a year, a month, a week. And I'm totally pumped to be prepping for a 5k. How cool is that!

I'm so fortunate to have such an amazing support system. Thanks guys! I'm still motivated! Can you believe it?
And I'm totally sticking with my program for training. I might not be able to run the full time they suggest but at least I"m finishing it. And I'm pushing harder than I ever have before.









<3 <3 <3

~LYNN / starbucks5721


Feb. 8th, 2009

Actually, does anyone have an old blender they are looking to sell?

Why are blenders the price of Ipods? To be honest, I need an ipod more.

I went to bed last night with announcers saying things like "there's no way mccain can win this"

And I woke up this morning, watched Obamas speech and cried.

I have never been more proud of our country, more hopeful, more excited to have voted.

In florida, they highlighted the 1-4 polls, saying that it was Tampa and Orlando, and Miami that made Florida's vote in years past. And as I watched our state turn blue, for the first time since I understood what an electoral vote was I felt that my vote counted!

Thank you ever single person who voted, I think we're going to be okay!

Way to step up USA and get ready for a change!

Obama I'm in love with you, don't fuck me in front of me.

I cried when I watched his speech.


Nov. 3rd, 2008

On the eve of the election, one that has promised a solution to our economic problems.

I am heartbroken from the process of losing my mother, who is in the process of losing her house.

Baby O, can you heal my broken heart?